You know how to get the juice out of a
You get excited each and every time the Falcons
make the playoffs, and you never get excited when
the Braves do the exact same thing.
You cuss the drive up to Atlanta, but you enjoy
yourself after you get there.
You realize that people have different speaking
accents in the West, Northwest, Northeast, and
Middle America, and that all of them are weird
compared to the right one, ours.
A tear comes to your eye every time you hear Ray
Charles singing, “Georgia On My Mind,“ or when
you hear Elvis singing “An American Trilogy”
during the Stone Mountain Park Laser Show.
You hate either the Yellow Jackets or Bulldogs
part of the time, but hate the Notre Dame Fighting
Irish, the Penn State Nittany Lions, the Ohio State
Buckeyes, the Michigan Wolverines, and any other
large northern football playing university all of
You think that one of those t-shirts dyed with
red mud is truly a time saving idea.
You often wonder why anyone would be crazy enough
to live someplace else, especially anywhere north of
the Mason-Dixon Line.
You still hold a car door open for a lady, and
you still pay for her dinner when you take her out,
no matter how little of her entree she actually ends
You know exactly what a brim is.
You understand that Dave Barry is a good writer,
but that Lewis Grizzard was a great writer.
You remember what drink boxes and hoop cheese
You smile and act like you really do want to go
up to Six Flags and ride all those roller
You’re convinced that Super Bowl Sunday ought
to be a national holiday.
You smile anytime you hear the words Tybee, St.
Simons, or Jekyll. And let’s not even mention Sea
You appreciate our state DOT department just as
soon as you drive from Georgia into either Alabama,
Florida, or South Carolina.
You understand why it’s fun to step on a
You know the difference between boiled peanuts
made from green peanuts and boiled peanuts made from
just plain peanuts.
You understand that the word “Coke” can mean
almost any kind of soft drink product.
You want to whup anyone who tries to inject
political viewpoints or causes into the Masters Golf
You hear the word “grits,” and you either
think about a bowl and a spoon or Deborah Ford.
You understand that a cold beer is a good beer,
and that the worst make-out session you’ve ever
participated in was still pretty darn good.
You’re convinced that if a college football
team outside of the South is picked to be national
champion that the whole system is rigged.
You still have a hankerin’ for a ‘76 black
You understand why pecan syrup is the best thing
in the world to put on pancakes or waffles.
You smile when you think about Chastain Park or
the Fox Theatre, and you smile even more when you
think about Little Richard putting on a show in
You’ve eaten at the Corkscrew Cafe up in
You know that there’s nothing sweeter than a
Georgia peach, and you really don’t care how that
You fret aloud about how much food you’re going
to need to lay in when the weather forecaster tells
you that a winter storm front may dump up to half an
inch of snow in your area.
You’d never admit it, but even though you’re
a Georgia fan you wanted to see Georgia Tech win the
NCAA basketball championship this past year because
they’re from our great state.
The word Nancy Hanks means more to you than just
the name of a woman.
You might argue which hot dog is the best, Nu-Way
or the Varsity, but down deep you thank God that
they’re both served right here in Georgia.
You’d rather kiss an ape’s pink heiny than
make that all important business trip up to New
You well understand what the difference is
between “sippin’ wine” and“chuggin’
You cuss kudzu and are sort of weirdly proud of
it all at the same time...
* * * * *
Ed's latest book, "Rough As
A Cob," can be ordered by calling River City
Publishing toll-free at: 877-408-7078. He's also a
popular after dinner speaker, and his column runs in
a number of Alabama and Georgia publications. You
can contact him via email at: [email protected] ,
or through his web site address at: www.ed-williams.com