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Superdudes and Dudettes We'd Like to See

By Southern Humorists


 

 

Super Toddler

Unless given Ritalin at regular intervals, he dashes into Wal-Mart and turns into the red faced, screaming beast who can shatter eardrums a mile away.

Oh wait, I just saw him this morning while grocery shopping.

Phil Jones

 


Super Redneck

He crushes beer cans with his bare hands and can stop a speeding train with a single belch.

Martin Martin          

                                                                                                                


The Steel Magnolia

She's brilliant. She's beautiful. Junior Leaguers fear her. She wouldn't shoot a whitetail deer, but has left men with their throats cut and was drinking jalapeno mint martinis in Hotlanta before her victims knew they were bleeding.

Elizabeth Westmark

 


RoadKill Man

Faster than a speeding sports car, more powerful than a 4 wheel drive pickup, more miles on the road than a tractor trailer, able to leap pot holes in a single bound... Watch out in the fast lane! It's RoadKill Man!

Sheila Moss


Dog Smogger

When my son was two, he made up his own superhero. He would wear a droopy diaper down to his knees with a turkey baster as his sword, stuck snugly in his diaper. Around his neck he wore a towel and for his headgear, he wore a Steelers football helmet. In his hand he carried a briefcase. He smeared ketchup on his face to appear more vicious. I kid you not! We named him Dog Smogger because his ultimate goal was to save all the kitty kats in the neighborhood. He would whisk out his turkey baster and blast dogs in the snouts with a blast of air.

Carrie Metz-English


Queen Plunger& The Super Duper Pooper

As soon as I hear the struggling gurgle from our clogged toilets, I spring into non-stop action rescuing our porcelain pods from mounds of toilet paper, little green army guys, bagels, broccoli and yes, poop. Lots and lots of poop. C'mon mamas, I know you are out there. It's time to reveal your secret identities like DIAPER DEFENDER, LAUNDRY LYNCHER, COOTIE CRITIC, WATCHER OF HORMONE-CHALLENGED TEEN BABYSITTERS, CHAMPION OF LATE NIGHT VOMIT SESSIONS and more. I know you're out there. Stand tall. Be proud.

Uh-oh, I hear a gurgle. Gotta go. The life of a superhero-mom never ends.

Julie Watson Smith

 



Southern Humorists

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- Super Dudes
- Big Butts
- Redneck Car
- Purty Peggy
- Summer Thangs
- Tub O' Lard
- W'men or Girls
- Exclamation Mark
- Cut the Mustard
- Rooster Contest



 

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