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Naming a Hamster

 

A Southern Humorists' Discussion

 


 

 

Kramer started the hamster discussion at Southern Humorists when he told us about his new hamster:

Our girl hamster named Hammy died a couple of months ago of old age. Our boy hamster named Chip died a couple days ago of natural causes (my wife fed him a banana and it was too big for his little body).

Over the weekend we got us a replacement girl hamster and I named it. I named it Hamela. But my wife hates the name so she has two other names for the hamster, Abby and Punkin, but I will always call this new hamster, Hamela. A perfect name in my book of hamster names.

I think whenever you name a pet, the pet's name should also partially describe the kind of animal it is.
For example:

Rat named Rattatouie

Hamster named Hammy or Hamela

Alice then offered her suggestion:

Well...if you did want someone's help...what about "Hamlet" or maybe "Miss Piggy" (since it's a girl HAMster).
Trish sympathized:

Too bad you don't have a new breeding pair, you could name them Ham and Eggs. If there were such a thing as a Hamster registry, they could be registered (after the wedding of course) as Mr. Hamlet, Saltcured, Hamilton and Mrs. Egguina, Poached, Henschild-Hamilton.

Susan also offered to help name the hamster.

Critter or munchkin or chittlin

Then CatHarp entered the conversation:

Hamchop?

Forever Hamber?

Or, if he's a kick a$$ kind of rodent, Hambo?

Marti nearly lost it. Hambo! That's hysterical!

Kramer agreed,

YES!

Hambo sounds good for the next boy hamster, but this hamster is a girl.

In a later hamster update, Kramer told us.

Hamela the Hamster (my wife still thinks the hamster's name is Abby or Abbey, "I ain't sure which!") has doubled in size since we have had her. We honestly believe that Hamela has an eating disorder because all she does is eat, sleep, and drink food.

We're hunting for a hamster psychologist to find out what to do about the eating disorder.

Kathy offered her suggestion:

Honey, if you want that freaking hamster to move buy a cat and put that hampster in one of those rolling balls that they make for them to run around the room in a "bubble". If Hamela doesn't move, unleash the cat .........I guarantee they will both get all the exercise they need......and lose weight too,

Kramer didnít like that idea too much. He didnít want Hamela to die of fright. Someone asked if Hamela was by any chance craving pickles and knitting thimble-size sweaters.

Oh, you're talking about Hamela, our Hamster... , replied Kramer.

She's pleasantly plump. We talked her into joining the YHCA (Young Hamsters Christian Association). Now she goes to the Y three times a week. We asked her, "Y the Y?" But we don't get an answer. However, she continues to sleep in her food bowl and eats while she sleeps. Her vet called it sleep-eating.

Hamela wins the Good Cagekeeping Seal of Approval. She takes her excrement and tosses it out of the cage and onto the bookshelf or carpet. We almost never have to clean her cage. For the record, we didn't teach her this trick.

Our little fuzzball was in mourning this week because her best friend, Nibbles, the gerbil, died. An autopsy revealed that Nibbles died from exhaustion. We're not surprised because whenever we took care of Nibbles we noticed him running around his cage like a chicken with its head cut off. We never saw such a wired rodent, bouncing off the walls and spinning in the wheel until the wheel fell off.

I was excited to learn that last night Hamela became an official cheesehead when we gave her a piece of medium cheddar cheese for a midnight snack. We figured hamster and cheese go good together. 

We are still saving all our good hamster name suggestions --- just in case.


Contributed by Southern Humorists Members
Edited by Sheila Moss



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- Naming a Hamster
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