would like to thank my friend Herb for that
e-mail about how to avoid getting avoiding
"points" against your driver's
license if you get a traffic ticket.
The idea is to pay a few dollars over the
fine, but NOT CASH THE REFUND CHECK!
Apparently If the financial transaction is
NOT closed, points are not assessed against
your license, but since the system has been
paid, it won't bother you anymore.
It sounded like good advice to me, but I
wanted to try it out before passing it along
to my readers. I hadn’t gotten a ticket in
years, and wasn’t really sure how to get
one. So I drove through town at thirty miles
an hour. But the police just ignored me.
Then I tried going the wrong way on a
one-way street. Still no ticket. So I drank
a quart of Ouzo and drove back and forth
right in front of the police station. Still
no ticket. At that point I parked my car and
went inside to complain. Still no luck. But
when I came out, someone had given me a
The fine was twenty-eight dollars, so I
sent a check for thirty dollars. The city
kept the extra money and sent me a letter
saying I needed to pay the exact amount
because they were unable to accept a check
for over the amount. I sent another check
for the exact amount. Now I am out
fifty-eight dollars plus all that money for
the booze and gas.
The city sent a note back telling me I
had already paid the ticket, enclosing a
photocopy of my second check. A few days
later I got a letter saying I would be
arrested and my car impounded if I did not
pay the original ticket. The only sensible
thing to do was drive to the police station
and straighten the mess out. But when I went
out to my car it had been impounded.
I took a cab to town, twenty-five
dollars, paid the tow bill and the impound
fee and paid the ticket again, one
hundred-fifty dollars, seventy-five dollars,
twenty-eight dollars. Then I drove to the
police station to see if I could get my
other checks back. I parked again, but this
time I put three quarters in the meter,
seventy-five cents. While the clerk was
trying to get my checks back, the tow
company called. It seems I had written so
many checks, that my check for the towing
bill had bounced.
I was arrested and had to post bail, six
hundred dollars. By the time I was released,
my parking meter had expired, twenty-eight
I went back into the police station, but
they would not take my check. I told them
about Herb's scheme to avoid getting drivers
license points. The officer told me that
there are no points for parking tickets.
Needless to say I was a little irritated
and said some things I probably should not
have said. The bail for disorderly conduct
was two hundred dollars. I have been ordered
to take anger management classes—about two
thousand dollars. My license has been
suspended due to all of the unpaid tickets.
My bank charged me one hundred twenty-five
dollars in over draft fees, and my car was
repossessed because my last payment check
Thanks for the advice Herb.
P.S. I plan to e-file my taxes this year.