My 3-½ year old son recently informed me that
"stupid" is a naughty word. I'm not
sure who told him this but I have a good idea
since he also told me that if I said it again he
would tell his mommy.
I wanted to find out why he thought stupid was
such a naughty word.
"Justin, why do you think stupid is
"Mommy, daddy said stupid!"
"But, I just want to know why you think
"Mommy, he said it again!"
"Ok, ok, I'm sorry. I won't say stupid
Since setting me straight about using the
dreaded "s-word", my son, the stool
pigeon, has been running around the house the
last couple of weeks yelling, "Mommy, daddy
said stupid again. Daddy please tell me you are
"Ok Justin, I'm sorry for saying
It seems I just can't stop using the word. I
mean there are so many stupid things in this
world that I just can't help commenting on them.
Every night I see stupid people doing stupid
things on the evening news.
I see stupid people eating worms on stupid
reality shows on television. Not to mention all
the stupid drivers I put up with driving home
from work every night.
There are so many stupid things going on around
the world these days it is hard to keep my mouth
shut. But since it means so much to my son and I
need to set a good example, I will stop saying
the word stupid.
Luckily, I write a column for this newspaper.
Since I can't comment on stupid things at home
and since my son can't read, I guess I will just
write about them here.
Let's see, what are some of the stupid things I
have bit my tongue and not commented on in the
last few weeks?
Mad Cow Disease: Stupid. One mad cow and the
media came close to causing national and
worldwide panic over eating beef raised in the
United States. By the way, the cow was from
Canada. Did Peter Jennings report that? I doubt
it. He is a stupid Canadian.
Killer Flu: Stupid. The media started mass panic
over a flu virus that might or might not be
fatal. Their horror stories, all in the name of
ratings, caused a stampede of healthy people
getting flu shots, which in turned caused a
shortage of the flu shots around the country.
The shortage only hurt the not-so-healthy people
who really needed the shot but couldn't. My
question is this: what happened to this story?
Did the killer flu die? Or is the media just
bored with the story? I haven't heard about it
Howard Dean: Stupid. From comments about
confederate flags on southern pickup trucks, to
a comment stating the capture of Saddam Hussein
did not make the country safer, Dr. Dean
continues to say and do stupid things. His
temper tantrums during the Iowa caucus also did
a lot to show his true stupid colors. At least
we probably don't need to worry about him in the
November elections. Yeeeeeeeeah!
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy: Stupid. I was
forced to watch this strange television show
when my mother-in-law was in town last week.
Maybe she thinks I need some help dressing more
fashionable. I'm not really sure. One thing I am
sure of though is the show is very stupid. It
ranks right up there with the Flying Nunn.
Personally, I think a couple good old boys
should teach the "Fab 5" how to drink
beer and wear flannel. That might make the show
Wesley Clark: Stupid. The General evidently
thinks he can guarantee that there will be no
more terrorist's attacks in America if he is
elected president. He also seems to have trouble
making up his mind. One day he is testifying
before Congress that he is for the war in Iraq,
later he is telling reporters that he is against
the war in Iraq and has never been for the war.
One day he is a Reagan republican and the next
day he is a Clinton democrat. Dr. Doolittle's
two-headed llama "Push-Me-Pull-You"
had more sense of direction than Wesley Clark
has and would probably make a better president.
I'm glad I finally got these stupid remarks off
my chest without upsetting things at home. Now
it is time sit next to my son, relax and watch
some more stupid television.
"Mommy, he said stupid again."
Copyright Steve Darnell
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