We all know and revere the name of the
Wright Brothers…Those fearless pioneers of
Aviation without whom the invention of the
stewardess would never have occurred.
No! Not Orville and Wilbur! I mean Bart and
Cletus, their cousins from North Carolina.
It is a little known fact that Wilbur and Orville
had two cousins that lived on the Outer Banks of
We, here in the Tar Heel state, know the truth
about the fact that the history books do not mention
the REAL inventors of the flying machine. I think it
is high time to make these facts known. My crack
research department has uncovered the REAL TRUTH and
we have the crushed empty beer cans to prove it.
Let us return to yesteryear when men were men and
women were women and income tax agents had not been
The year was 1899.
Young Wilbur and Orville had been sent to visit
their Uncle Freemont and Aunt Pearl on the outer
banks. Their parents had sent them there because the
two brothers had been caught playing with their
propellers in their tree house, with a couple of
local Dayton girls. It was deemed best if they got
out of town for a while, until the local Judge and
father of the two sisters cooled off.
It was here that the fateful meeting between the
and Cletus Wright were two highly inventive boys.
They were also bored out of their ever-loving skulls
because if you lived at Kitty Hawk in the 1800’s
you pretty much watched the sea gulls and dreamed of
getting the heck onto the mainland. The barrier
islands were desolate places with more wind than
Congress but with even less to do...much like it is
It was Bart and Cletus who introduced Orville and
Wilbur to the beauty and elegance of the graceful
dips and doodles of the seagull in flight. It was
Bart and Cletus who introduced them to the
simplicity of wing warping by teaching them how to
build a kite from some driftwood and some waxed
paper. It was Bart and Cletus who introduced the two
Ohio cousins to the Skiveyton twins.
Unfortunately, Orville and Wilbur were caught
with them getting their kite twine wrapped between
However, the die had been cast. Their fates had
been sealed. They were set upon the path of their
destiny. They were shipped off to their other
Uncle’s home in Tennessee.
Fast forward to 1903. The Dayton boys returned to
the islands to try their bicycles. They had become
bicycle mechanics and brought their contraption to
the beach to try to renew their respective
relationships with the Skiveyton twins. They pedaled
their hearts out up and down the beach in a vain
attempt to attract the attention of the two girls.
Unfortunately, the twins knew how to play
"hard to get" and were blatantly
Enter our two young men of True Destiny.
Bart and Cletus had been so bored for all those
years; they had built the world’s biggest kite
from driftwood and waxed paper. The two knew they
had the inside track on the race for the Skiveytons.
Orville and Wilbur discovered their secret
invention and stole it. They took it to the top of
Kill Devil Hill where in a desperate attempt to pick
up chicks, they flung it and themselves repeatedly
off the crest of the dune.
Finally, on the twelfth of December nineteen
hundred ought three, they thought to actually do
those two things TOGETHER and history was made.
In a truly ironic twist of fate, Wilbur and
Orville’s plan actually failed.
While they were getting sand packed into bodily
crevices by sticking the landing, so were Bart and
Cletus and the Skiveyton twins.
We will learn more about the TRUTH of Aviation
history next time, when we uncover unknown details
about Leonardo DaVinci’s Air Screw.
"I think, if this screw instrument is well
made, that means from linen starched (to block its
pores) and is turned rapidly, then this said screw
will find its female in the air and climb
upwards." With this brief description, Leonardo
da Vinci had envisioned the forefather of the modern
helicopter and garnered a date with a chick named
Copyright Carson Cockman
* * * * *
am a 50-year-old writer who hails from the Genteel
South. I firmly believe that grits should be on
every menu, barbeque slaw should be red and biscuits
should not pop out of a can. Please keep all the
chittlin’s ever chittled.
I have been
married for thirty-three years. The secret to our
success directly relates to Debbie’s aim with a
frying pan and the fact that I purchased an old army
surplus helmet some years ago.
background is technical service. My social stratum
is above hillbilly/redneck but lower than Billy
Gates. My viewpoint is different. Perhaps it has to
do with that frying pan.
authors, who write about what they know. I write
about what I do not know. My wife tells me I am
clueless as any man can be. It logically follows
that my work should reach at least fifty percent of
the possible worldwide audience.