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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?


By Ike Martin


 


from~

The Chicken Testament
A Philosophical Look at an Age-Old Question
By Ike Martin


I cross therefore, I am
-Chick Decartes-


Whose road this is, I think I know, his house is in the village though. He will not see me crossing here, to watch his field fill up with corn.
-Chicken Frost-

Crossing is a good walk spoiled.
-Samuel Clemens Leghorn-

A woman drove me to cross the road, to seek a tavern and I never had the decency to thank her
-W.C. Leghorn-


One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the other side of the road.
-Andre Cornish-

Death twitches my ear. “Cross,” he says, “I’m coming”
-La Fleche-

When written in Chinese, the word “cross” is written in two characters. One represents danger the other opportunity.
-J.F.C.- (John Fitzgerald Chantecler)

“Mean to” don’t cross no road.
-Rhode Island Red-

There are two forces that unite chickens---fear and interest.
-Napoleon Crevecoeur-

A chicken’s most valuable trait is a judicious sense of when to cross.
-Euchickades-

If a chicken does not keep pace with his flock, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him cross to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.
-Henry David Poularde-

I care not; a chicken can die but once while crossing. We owe God a death.
-William Shankspur-

Crossing is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-H.L. Houdan-

Why, then the world’s mine oyster
Which, with crossing, I will open.
-William Shankspur-

If you want a thing done, cross---if not send.
-Benjamin Friesland-

You may be disappointed if you cross, but you are doomed if you don’t try.
-Dutch Bantam-

He that dies while crossing pays all debts.
-William Shankspur-

Looking at small advantages prevents great crossings from being accomplished.
-Chicfucius-

It is not strange that desire to cross should so many years outlive performance.
-William Shankspur-

Crossing demands a temporary surrender of security.
-Hood Hen Sheehy-

Until the day of his crossing, no chicken can be sure of his courage.
-Jean Andalusian-

Here I cross. I can do no other. God bless me. Amen.
-Martin Langshan-

Ninety per cent of crossing is half mental.
-Yogi Baheij-

Wide is the road from conception to crossing.
-Poulet-

Out of the strain of to cross. Into the peace having crossed.
-Julia Louise Wyandottes-

I had a lover’s quarrel with the crossing.
-Chicken Frost-

Crossing banishes those three great evils---boredom, vice and poverty.
-Volaille-

I will cross tomorrow is the reason it is the busiest day of the year.
-Rhode Island Red-

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely crossed a road cackles as if she crossed the LA Freeway.
-Samuel Clemens Leghorn-

The best crossing is the enemy of the good crossing.
-Volaille-

Crossing is eighty percent of life
-Rhode Island White-

©Ike Martin


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