In response to the latest provocation from the United States, North Korea has put its military on double secret super alert. N. Korea leader Kim Jong-un made the announcement in the Washington Post.

While I am not a fan of Kim Jung-un, in this case I have to admit heís got a point. N. Korea is responding to the latest insult from the United States, sending Dennis Rodman over there as an ambassador. If thatís not a hostile move, I donít know what is.

Donít know about you, but if someone sent Dennis Rodman to my house for any reason at all, my reaction would be identical to N. Koreaís. Iíd be looking for someone to bomb out of existence. The difference between me and N. Korea is I donít pretend to have functioning nuclear weapons and I wouldnít just be threatening.

Unfortunately for the United States, Rodman came back from North Korea. Normal people, a term which has never been used to describe the ruling family in North Korea or our leaders in Washington, believe this is a retaliation strike. In other words, the US and Korea should be even now. We attacked each other with a Dennis Rodman-tipped Dennis Rodman.

If you needed proof that Dennis Rodman visiting the land of megalomaniacs (no, I do not mean Washington, D.C.) was a hostile move on the part of the US, think about this. N. Korea is a closed country. It takes a slew of special permissions for anyone to visit there. And Dennis Rodman gets through? Even I donít believe our government is that incompetent.

Most people who try to get permission to visit N. Korea are told no, their passports burned, their car tires slashed and the IRS launches an immediate audit of their tax returns for the past 15 years. The government reasons anyone who actually wants to go to N. Korea is probably demented, dangerous and is hiding a lot of things, like all-access tickets to Nickelbackís planned world tour of Cuba and other countries the US doesnít like.

Oy. Thereís a sobering thought. If N. Korea has threatened the US with a nuclear strike because we sent Dennis Rodman over there, what will they do if Nickelback actually shows up? If the ijit midget from Pyongyang (N. Koreaís capital) doesnít explode, Iím certain heíll launch a full ground assault on the United States by attempting to march his army across the Pacific Ocean.

Most N. Koreans have no idea what Americans are like. Their limited view of Americans as fat, obnoxious and opinionated comes straight out of the state-run propaganda machine. How they get my column each week, I donít know.

The North Korean government tells the North Korea people how great North Korea is compared to the rest of the world and the US is full of idiots. So, we send Dennis Rodman which proves the government lies are actually the truth.

Whatís next? Are we going to send Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan to Palestine to help broker a peace agreement? Is Kim Kardashian (or whatever her name is) next in line to lead a trade delegation to China? Youíll note the government never sends people like Bobby Brown to lead a peace delegation to countries which are our allies, like Great Britain, Germany and Canada. We reserve them for countries who already want to go to war with us.

And we wonder why the United States is so hated around the world.

Copyright 2013 Ben Baker