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It's
no secret that Bill Clinton likes women. But a prominent Republican?
And not just any Republican but one who is seeking to deny
the Democrats a chance to reclaim the White House that Clinton reluctantly
vacated eight years ago.
Yet here is the former president, a prominent Democrat,
describing Sarah Palin, the GOP nominee for vice president, as "hot"
and saying her husband is "my kind of guy."
The 2008 presidential elections are a little more than a
month away, and I’ve finally decided who I’m going to vote for. My candidate
of choice is tall, manly, a guy’s guy, and able to look you straight in the
eye and tell you what’s what. He’s a family man, a hard worker, and when he
gets bucked off a snowmobile, he gets right back on. That’s why I hereby
endorse for president Alaska’s Mr. Dude himself – Todd Palin.
Pretty tough beef, like a poor cut of steak or a grass fed steer. But beef.
Has everyone got that?
For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, a couple of weeks ago I took possession of a very recently deceased
emu. An emu is an Australian bird which can weigh up to 100 pounds, stands taller than me and looks a lot like an ostrich. It also has about as much sense as an ostrich or any above-average member of Congress.
There – I’ve Said It Again Please stop sending me e-mail telling me about the candidates running for office. Please stop stuffing my mailbox with literature about your particular political agenda. Please stop calling my home and eating up my limited voice mail time with your canned messages from those seeking my vote. Cease and desist with the calls, e-mail and literature from a political party I have never had anything in common with, am not registered as, and couldn’t vote for even if I were brain dead.
I
don’t get it. I just don’t get it. Why did he pick HER when he
could have had ME? I’ve got all the right anatomical parts. If he
felt like he had to have a woman on the ticket, why not me?
According to what I read, not too many qualifications are needed. And
that’s exactly what I’ve got – not too many qualifications.
I have a pair of frameless glasses. I had them fixed
after one of the lenses broke. Frameless glasses are sometimes not all
they are cracked up to be -- just like Vice Presidential candidates.
As the unofficial political correspondent for this newspaper, I have moved my
base of operations, or Citizen Central as I like to call it, from not being at
the Democratic National Convention to not being at the Republican National
Convention.
I would have been at the Republican National Convention if not for the fact
someone had to stay in Royston and closely monitor Hurricane Gustov, Hannah, Ike
and Tina. Had any of these dangerous storms or R&B acts turned sharply to
the right, broken every law of meteorological physics and maintained hurricane
status 500 miles inland, Royston would have been right in their path.
While the original Ike Turner has headed for Rock and Roll Heaven, that fact
hasn’t stopped Tina from hiring an Ike-a-like to sing her former partner’s
parts.
But this isn’t a column about hurricanes or reconstituted 70s singers. This
is a column about the Republican Convention.
By
W. Mark Berryman
Barbershop
Humor
While
visiting the barber shop the other day, the conversation turned to John
McCain and his candidacy for president. They were also discussing
why he picked Sara Palin as his vice presidential pick.
My barber, Bill, quickly deduced that John McCain was a fly boy in the
service and they do travel a bit. And since Sara is in her 40's, he figures that she is his daughter and they are just teaming up now.
It's
no secret that Bill Clinton likes women. But a prominent Republican?
IBeef. OK? Beef.
I
don’t get it. I just don’t get it. Why did he pick HER when he
could have had ME? I’ve got all the right anatomical parts. If he
felt like he had to have a woman on the ticket, why not me?
As the unofficial political correspondent for this newspaper, I have moved my
base of operations, or Citizen Central as I like to call it, from not being at
the Democratic National Convention to not being at the Republican National
Convention.
While
visiting the barber shop the other day, the conversation turned to John
McCain and his candidacy for president. They were also discussing
why he picked Sara Palin as his vice presidential pick.
